So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
