She announced her abortion via fbk
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
