It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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