And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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