my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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