Im at strip club and am horny
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
