if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
