i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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