She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
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