remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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