Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
