It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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