A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
