do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
