Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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