I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
