You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
