Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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