We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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