Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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