Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
