Having a random hookup so left but love u
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
