I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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