dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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