Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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