I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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