We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
