i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We got so high we made milksteak
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
