you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
