I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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