would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
