It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
