will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's blow job season.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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