She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
