He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
