and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
