So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
