my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hippo gnu deer
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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