Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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