He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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