I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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