is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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