Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
