i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
