med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
