do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he shaved USA in his pubs
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
