I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
