You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
