guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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