so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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