i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
