i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
