She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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