I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
