I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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