He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
